Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
