he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
