lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
drinking out of a sandbucket again
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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