i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
