Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
this is an emotional support booty call
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
