I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
