let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
