I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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