So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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