Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize