I wish I could punch you in the face.
farters have to be the big spoon...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
