Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I forget how to act sober
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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