she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
