____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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