Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
