I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
