I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
