I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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