Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Someone signed my nipple.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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