I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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