I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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