My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
