Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
