Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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