I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
