Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
