After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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