# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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