The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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