Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
