I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
