i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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