I cannot find my penis.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
