This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
