I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
