Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
