Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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