hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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