so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
