I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
