this beer tastes like vomit already
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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