Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Your penis caused this!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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