she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
