carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
