I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
