Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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