im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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