Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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