Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
