Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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