Dual....:-)
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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