she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
