what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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