party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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