He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
