no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
