Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
