On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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